Wondering

My little eyes keep drifting,

Tracing my mom’s shoulders,

Her curves which bore me,

Wondering if it’s okay to touch her

Wondering if it’s okay to ask for help

Wondering if I would be hated for it

Wondering… Wondering and Wondering

While cold creeps through me,

I beg voicelessly,

“Please give me some warmth.

I’m so sorry for hurting you

Even if it was unintentional.

Please give me some warmth.”

 

Is it really cold?

Or is it loneliness?

But I can see the love in her eyes

Then, why is it so cold?

Why is it so lonely?

"Please hug me

Is it even okay for me to hug you?" 

 

I wonder, wonder and wonder,

While I slowly rise

To meet my mom’s eyes.

Though taller than her,

The kid in me keeps

Tracing my mom’s shoulders,

Her curves which bore me…. As always

But now…

 

My longer legs slowly

Close the distance between us,

Tracing the smile glinting in her eyes,

Pulling up the edge of her lips.

I fall into her arms,

Still wondering, wondering and wondering.

While warmth creeps into

The cold barren me,

I realize,

“Wow! Mom is so warm.

Human warmth feels so good.”

 

Though words clog in my throat,

Atleast… Atleast,

It’s not as lonely,

It feels like home,

As if it’s a shame

To already loosen my arms embracing her.

I… I…

The kid in me

Already misses her arms around me.

 

Wondering… Wondering and Wondering

While cold creeps through me,

I beg voicelessly,

“Please give me some warmth.

I’m so sorry for hurting you

Even if it was unintentional.

Please give me some warmth, someone.”

 

I… I…

It was me, not the kid.

I miss her warmth,

That I got so little of.

Longing clouding my eyes,

I whisper,

“I love you.

I miss you.”

 

Wondering… Wondering and Wondering

While cold creeps through me,

I beg,

“Please give me some warmth.”

My Most Relatable Movie: Milk

 

Recently, I came across the first openly gay man to get awarded an Oscar, Mr. Dustin Lance Black. He was awarded the Oscar for the screenplay of a movie called ‘Milk’. This 2008 movie was written based on the life story of the first openly gay politician and activist in America, Harvey Milk. It features the difficulties faced by Mr. Milk in the 70s to become California’s first openly gay individual to get elected to public office in a society where homosexuality was prosecuted and his activities aimed at obtaining gay rights till he was assassinated.

Though it may not be embellished by high-investment-graphics like the Marvel movies, it had beautifully portrayed the raw feelings of people during the time and how the LGBTQ+ movements today are so similar to those earlier but how they could be far more effective. Lance expertly describes how Harvey’s ideology of bringing together different vulnerable groups and using the power of one to help another helped Milk win the campaign against the repealing of Proposition 6 with the aid of the worker groups. Moreover, Harvey also spreads the heartfelt message of how hope will never be silent, which in itself empowered me as a cisgender female LGBTQ+ individual.

Though almost the whole film continuously gave me goosebumps with its powerful messages, Lance’s promise of getting the court to repeal Proposition 8 while he was receiving his Oscar was the most overwhelming and empowering message. The sheer fact that people of power and those having celebrity status would take years off their career for the cause of letting people live and express themselves as who they are and love who they want to was very heartwarming. Furthermore, throughout their activities in regard to Proposition 6 and Proposition 8, both Harvey and Lance, respectively, highlighted the importance of personal stories rather than just blind marches and processions to touch the hearts of fellow human beings.

Both Lance and Harvey has motivated me to use the story of my pain and hardships to slowly influence the people near me and then expand that influence to wider circles providing relief and helping many people of the heterosexual majority to understand and relate with the LGBTQ+ community. This has helped me understand that though it may take time, I have the power to sway a lot of people and do my hand to dispose off the prejudice related to the LGBTQ+ community, so that I can help both others and myself. I could see that from the sheer fact of how my mother, at first, was in denial when I came out but now accepts who I am and over time, she is understanding me more deeply. Thus, Milk (2008) has been the most relatable movie I have ever seen and it has been my favourite since then.

First Crystals

 

Source

Abstract

This poem talks about how two close friends drift apart. Such a close and genuine friendship was the first for both of them and thus seeing each other cry was also the first. They always felt happy to see one another but now one turns their back to the other which was another first. 

Poem

So fleeting

The moments that happened so fleetingly,

The moments that I thought would last forever,

Shimmered into oblivion within seconds.

Those precious moments,

Forgotten within the blink of an eye

Even then I couldn’t do anything

And when you broke down beside me,

Tears adorned our eyes like crystals

Glinting, as if waiting to erase our memories into oblivion.

 

Even as we drift apart

I can feel your eyes getting wet.

Over time, those eyes

Those beautiful eyes still pull me into you.

 

Both of us wonder,

“Why was it us?”

While I trace your love,

Desperately chasing my eyes

Looking to comfort you

But I couldn’t see that face of yours,

Looking happy anymore

With me just listening to you.

The us, so similar but so different.

 

Slowly, you begin to ignore my stares

Even though I am waiting beside you

Missing and longing for your hand in mine

Tears adorn my eyes like crystals.

 

Even as we drift apart

I can feel your eyes getting wet.

Over time, those eyes

That pull me in

Were the first.

 

Like a kid who feels anxious

That he would finish his candy and none would be left,

I was afraid of the moment everything would go awry.

Though you ran leaps to me while I took baby steps,

You, now, turn your back towards me

And I miss you so bad.

 

Even though we peeled away the masks,

Hiding the mysterious truths in us,

Understanding each other hand in hand,

Nervous as we were,

You still keep your back turned

Without even the glint of a smile.

It was the first.

Can a Self-Learning Module substitute a Real Teacher?

 

The pandemic has made self-learning modules a necessity, if people are to get educated. And it’s undeniable that the “basic necessities club” has a new member now, i.e., the internet. So will this internet be able to replace a real teacher? Well, as much as the collaboration of self-learning modules and internet helps us educate the most remote areas of the world, self-learning modules can’t play “substitute” for interpersonal relationships since they deliver learning content in the form of discrete ‘atoms’, in the words of educator Philip Kerr, which eventually come together to create ‘learning’. Using a more familiar example, we may be able to engineer a zygote in a test tube in a lab but we still need a human female to perform surrogate. Likewise, as much as all of us can agree that education is a necessity to replace empty minds with open ones and that it is wise to use all methods possible to fulfil the purpose even if it entails not having a real teacher, we can’t deny the fact that the life experiences and knowledge a real teacher brings is irreplaceable.

This brings us to the reality that teaching is not all about itemizing facts and figures of a certain topic. Attesting to this, research has shown that teaching is not all about finding the “right answers” or teaching them to the students. Rather, it is about inquiry and learning through which both the students and the teachers ameliorate into better individuals, thus fostering social learning. Therefore, the holistic development of a student requires more than just the banter of teaching. It requires solid mentorship enriched by the happiness, pain and sufferings of learned and experienced individuals dedicated to the deed. Moreover, it can’t be denied that, often, we learn and model a personalities and outlooks and alignment with the people around us, be it our teachers, parents, friends or acquaintances. Additionally, though self-learning modules lack prejudice, bias and stereotypes, it’s not like one can share their thoughts and concerns with it and expect genuine understanding in return. This in itself indicates that real people have a strong influence on the building of the foundation of an individual.

Building the foundation of an individual does not exactly end with enriching ones intellectual quotient. This can be illustrated by the mere fact that an intelligent person may turn murderer due to the lack of emotional intelligence while the opposite is seldom true. This is where the role of a real teacher comes in. A teacher has the ‘real-time’ sensitivity to understand the emotional state of each individual student and offer an ear to listen or a shoulder to lean on, providing comfort and proper guidance. This entails breaking down the barriers of employing the conventional quantitative methods and epistemologies embedded in the academic culture operating from an outsider’s perspective and making informed decisions in regard to the student. In alignment with this argument, a teacher often uses qualitative knowledge seen through an insider’s lens through methods like journaling, direct observation, keeping field notes, conducting interviews, collecting artifacts, etc. which are more appropriate for the complex process of teaching and learning as it is not practically possible for a self-learning module lacking empathy.

2 out of 3 students say that their teachers are their role models. But have you ever heard someone say the same about a self-learning module? Probably, not. So, why is that? Well, the answer is rather simple. It’s because guiding students to become proper human beings and inspiring them to excel in their life by setting goals and achieving them are not exactly the forte of a self-learning module. Attesting to this, We Are Teachers, an online media brand for educators, have found that almost 79 percent of students say that their teachers encouraged them to follow their dreams. Furthermore, feedback can touch the heart of a fellow human being only when it is customized for each person and has the warmth of goodwill. Such personal and warm feedback can help encourage independence and increase confidence as confirmed by more than 80 percent of the students who took part in the research conducted by We Are Teachers.

Confidence stems from compassion. A compassionate teacher positively influences their student even if things may seem grim for them. This is evidently different from the mere graphics found at the end of a self-learning module congratulating a student on successfully completing their studies. Graphical appreciation, though boosts confidence, isn’t as effective as verbal and expressive appreciation from teachers which stimulates the student’s brain much more than the former by unshackling the student from toxic emotions. Thus, teachers become a support system for their students forming a bond between them founded on trust and affection which cannot be formed by a self-learning module. But this doesn’t mean that technology should be taken away from the lives of the students. It means that teachers need to make use of technology as an efficient assistant while incorporating their humour, soft-skills coaching and behavioral assessments and make memories which are sure to adorn their students’ faces with a smile. Such gifts of happiness can only be presented by a real teacher.