“Don’t tolerate me as different. Accept me as part of the spectrum of normalcy.”
- Ann Northrop
Be it that our skin is fair or dark or hair is short or long or are attracted to males or females, at the end of the day, it does not change the fact that we all are Homo sapiens, or to say, human beings. Literally meaning that nobody is an outsider or a misfit. It is just made to seem so. Accordingly, marginalizing and/or ostracizing of a certain group of people just because they are too different does not make any sense. Rather, the truth is that we all are different in one way or the other. It simply depends on how we slice the pie.
Now if one gets the smaller end of the pie, that still does not mean that the pie could be complete without that piece, however small it is. So, no matter however the bigger chunk tries to obliterate the smaller segments, the smaller bits have the right to exist happily and peacefully with utmost dignity. This is rightly expressed by the honourable Judge D. Gregory Geary through his words in the Orberti v. Board of Education case, “Inclusion is a right, not a privilege for a select few.” Nonetheless, ‘better’ for the smaller piece would mean better for the bigger one too. That is why, appreciating and acknowledging the intersectionality of the dignity of various lumps of people, like in a Venn diagram, provide an insight into how inexorably interlinked we all are and how the support and love of one could serve as their life’s building block for another.
Nevertheless, the road to dignity is a long way ahead and should start by valuing oneself and accepting the fact that if someone does not accept you as you are, then it is because they do not deserve you which is their loss. Once you learn to value yourself, then it is about the rights you are rightfully entitled to. Though the road to obtaining these rights might be full of uncertainties, that does not mean that you got to beg for mere crumbs because that will only get you even lesser than those crumbs. Rather, through this journey, another integral mission of life needs to be undertaken.
It is often not realized how unlearning is as much a mission of life as learning. Unlearning is a crucial tool to be efficiently used to achieve the dignity one deserves by eradicating the age-old beliefs, people are conditioned to put their confidence into, stemming out of and fuelling patriarchy, misogyny, bigotry, etc., with no definable scientific basis. Unlearning and relearning can be achieved by sharing personal experiences, rather than facts and figures, as the heart is the road to the mind. These values were effectively portrayed in the struggle against Proposition 8 in California, USA in 2008 for marriage equality.
Then again, this road from someone’s heart to their mind might be full of hurdles and blocks and getting hurt sometimes becomes inevitable. Even then, those tears, trickling over the traces left by those personal stories, are a sign that something inside is healing and never should it be let for anyone to plant the idea that it is a sign of weakness. In lieu of this, healing can also emanate from talking out one's grievances. Having someone who merely stays beside and listens wholeheartedly without offering any unwarranted advice can be the greatest boon through that journey of personal storytelling.
Thus, happiness is something of our own making but at the same time, it cannot be a lone deed. It is the result of coming together of like-minded people who understand that nothing in this world can be ascertained for sure and that conversely, we all live in a vibrant spectrum, striving towards the same goal. In that journey, many small pieces of the pie collaborate to build a far happier and more inclusive world for the posterity while hoping to share a part of that happiness before we leave. And this is the only way we can get the pendulum of progress moving forward again.
