Wondering

My little eyes keep drifting,

Tracing my mom’s shoulders,

Her curves which bore me,

Wondering if it’s okay to touch her

Wondering if it’s okay to ask for help

Wondering if I would be hated for it

Wondering… Wondering and Wondering

While cold creeps through me,

I beg voicelessly,

“Please give me some warmth.

I’m so sorry for hurting you

Even if it was unintentional.

Please give me some warmth.”

 

Is it really cold?

Or is it loneliness?

But I can see the love in her eyes

Then, why is it so cold?

Why is it so lonely?

"Please hug me

Is it even okay for me to hug you?" 

 

I wonder, wonder and wonder,

While I slowly rise

To meet my mom’s eyes.

Though taller than her,

The kid in me keeps

Tracing my mom’s shoulders,

Her curves which bore me…. As always

But now…

 

My longer legs slowly

Close the distance between us,

Tracing the smile glinting in her eyes,

Pulling up the edge of her lips.

I fall into her arms,

Still wondering, wondering and wondering.

While warmth creeps into

The cold barren me,

I realize,

“Wow! Mom is so warm.

Human warmth feels so good.”

 

Though words clog in my throat,

Atleast… Atleast,

It’s not as lonely,

It feels like home,

As if it’s a shame

To already loosen my arms embracing her.

I… I…

The kid in me

Already misses her arms around me.

 

Wondering… Wondering and Wondering

While cold creeps through me,

I beg voicelessly,

“Please give me some warmth.

I’m so sorry for hurting you

Even if it was unintentional.

Please give me some warmth, someone.”

 

I… I…

It was me, not the kid.

I miss her warmth,

That I got so little of.

Longing clouding my eyes,

I whisper,

“I love you.

I miss you.”

 

Wondering… Wondering and Wondering

While cold creeps through me,

I beg,

“Please give me some warmth.”