Are We in a Space Opera?

 

Image source 

Well, for all we know, we may be living in a Space Opera without even realizing it, hidden to normal human eyes by something like Rick Riordan’s mist. Remember all those faster-than-light spacecraft and action and the wonderful chemistry between the cute little Groot and tsundere Rocket Raccoon and the more exhilarating Star-Lord and Gamora? We may as well be living in a world like that. 

Stephen Hawking had already talked about the possibility of wormholes, why not a Space Opera, then? And this might be even more exciting for all those Star Wars fans out there than the theory of the whole Milky Way galaxy just being a playtime activity of alien kids. Then again, can’t ignore the possibility of those asteroids being just some rocks thrown our way by some naughty alien kids. Another question that pops up is, though it may have been just asteroids all this time, what if it is the whole of our resources next? It’s questionable if we would be able to defend ourselves against such an attack even after all the research and efforts or maybe, we just wouldn’t be quick enough on our feet (Ah, will it be quick enough on our “spacecrafts’’ by then?). 

Anyways, considering that the world works in alignment with the laws of Physics and that you occasionally find anomalies, can we really cross out the possibility? Moreover, we don’t even know how far this world of ours extends. Either way, aren’t we ourselves trying to conquer and colonize other planets too? What guarantee do we have that there aren’t others trying to do the same? I would say, none. 

So, what do you think? Doesn’t it seem like we may be living in one like all those fantastic melodramatic adventures we have seen to-date? And if it were, would you be excited, sad, scared, numb or feel empty? Or would you get out there in a spacecraft yourself with all sophisticated technologies available to beat up those naughty alien kids? 

Capabilities Approach

 

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Poverty is the inability to acquire the basic requirements of like food, clothing, shelter, etc. According to the Capability Approach given by Sen, poverty is the deprivation of an individual’s capability to achieve his full potential. It’s not just the absence of money, rather, it’s the presence of helplessness, voicelessness and powerlessness. Thus, GDP seldom equates to prosperity. Understanding that social poverty exacerbates material poverty, organizations like Poverty Stoplight have come forward to support families in eradicating poverty. Burt, in his book ‘Who Owns Poverty?’, introduces an approach that puts poor families in charge of defining and diagnosing their own unique, multidimensional poverty. 

According to Robeyns, a Capabilities scholar, Capabilities Approach, an anthropocentric approach, is “focused on what people can do and be and on what they are actually achieving in terms of being and doing.” For instance, a Buddhist monk and a farmer living in deprivation are at different positions because while one is doing it out of choice, the other is not. Ergo, the conversion of income into capabilities is only possible through awareness and client-centered-therapies, rarely accessible to the poor.

The government addresses issues like education, healthcare, skill development, human rights, vulnerability, access to services, social exclusion, etc, through NRHM, SSA, Skill India, Beti Bachao Beti Padhao, PMGAY, POCSO, Women’s Commission, New Education Policy 2020, etc. Payne, in his book ‘Bridges Out of Poverty’, defines poverty as the extent to which an individual does without resources like emotional resources, support systems, trust and integrity, etc, which are denied to women, caste and sexual minorities. 

Caste discrimination is rampant despite numerous constitutional provisions and legislations. In many instances, Dalits above poverty line experience poverty in matters like inability of drawing water from a well or buying land. There’s also stigmatization of alleged ‘bad jobs’. Accordingly, SC/ST Act, 1989 and FRA, 2006 were implemented to protect SC/ST(s) from atrocities and ensure their rights to forest resources. Women’s condition is worse and that of sexual minorities, overlooked. 

Gender inequality and domestic violence is prevalent in India, a patriarchal society, from historical times. In Islamic societies, men have the exclusive right to unilaterally divorce their wives putting women at constant risk of losing their basic capabilities for survival. 

Studies say, sexual minorities are more vulnerable to stress, suicide and becoming homeless. Despite transgenders given the right to change their legal gender, IPC Section 377 scrapped, etc, the society is largely homophobic with obloquy against live-in couples. 

PIL to render IPC gender-neutral should be filed. Company trips for bureaucrats and parenting jobs should be organized at local levels. Fixed salary and working-time for health workers and slut-shaming should be prohibited. Thus, one should walk alongside the poor, cultivating their gifts and talents.

Your Blisters

Hey, doesn’t it ache a lot?

Quite foolish of me to ask that 

When I was the one

Who made those brooding scars in you, 

Isn’t it?

Scared as I am of your wrath, 

Can’t blame you for being angry.

Still, I won’t apologize, 

Rather I’ll fill those holes of yours 

With my blood, sweat and tears,

So that you wouldn’t hurt anymore.

 

Why Are You Like That?

Abstract

What would you feel like if someone asked why you acted like yourself? This story delves into a facet of that question and shows how that question can let someone down and how they pick themselves up. It describes the intense and raw feelings of a lost person. It also shows how one person's lessons and efforts can pick another person up. This story is a snippet from my life.

Story

I sat up on my bed feeling dizzy from my long slumber. The clock showed 10 am, 3 hours to my interview. Still unsure, I looked at the blinding sunlight gliding through my room. I got up and went to the kitchen of my 1BK studio apartment to prepare my coffee.

Sipping my coffee, I went back to my bed and stared blankly at the dust particles floating through the sunlight which flooded my mind with memories. 

I was in the 15th year of my life when I had my first love. We had moved to Oman for my father's business and changed buses to commute to school. On my first day on the bus, since people had fixed seats and I didn’t know anyone, I had sat alone somewhere in the first few seats. 

Her stop was exactly two stops after mine. Though she hadn't made much of a first impression, I had seen her noticing a new face. Few minutes later, she was standing before me and asking, "Are you new here?" I remember whispering a broken "yes", to which she had offered, "Do you want to sit with me?" I recall that making me really glad. 

Soon, we were having the time of our lives talking and visiting each other. She seemed like my only ray light in the dark and lonely world. We were quite close when I met another senior, in the same bus, who was especially close to her. Though there was nothing between them, I could sense myself getting pretty jealous of their proximity.

Back then, I didn't realize what my feelings were. So, a confession was the last thing on my mind. But now that I have realized them, they have become good memories…

My phone’s vibration woke me up from my thoughts. I got up from my bed to go to the bathroom, removed my clothes and looked at my naked body in the mirror. I ran my fingers along my curves. Seeing the tubelight’s shine bouncing along them immersed me in my thoughts once again.

I was 19 when the bulb finally lit. Quite a late-bloomer, I started doubting my sexuality. I probably started doubting that I may be different, a year before that but never realized that it was my sexuality at the end of the day. Moreover, being in a new country and unfamiliar environment didn't help. Though I had an inkling of being gender-blind, I only became sure after moving to India. 

Besides, by the time I was 20, I was 3 years into a crush on my bestfriend. During the first year, it was very confusing and, often, anxiety and denial took over me because I thought that I was mixing up feelings of friendship with that of love. Not knowing that I'm pansexual didn't help. I didn't even know that I was gender-blind for sure. This was quite a turbulent but insightful time. But it was only once I became sure of my sexuality that I became completely sure of my feelings. 

It was during a class that I first discussed my doubts of not being straight with a friend of mine. Then, it was a tsunami of research and trying out tests on sexualities and related stuff. It was a very confusing time and the feeling that I couldn't fit in anywhere which I had all through my childhood was becoming all the more prominent. I felt isolated and since I wasn't sure of things, I couldn't even talk about it to anyone.

I remember having those "friendly conversations" with my guy friends in college regarding sex and sexualities and me being open about the fact that my partner's biological sex not mattering to me even before I had doubts that I was different. Getting weird looks during those talks were a given, though it never mattered.

Slowly, as I became sure of my sexuality, I started testing the waters with my parents. Once I became firmly sure, I came out to my best friend. He was very accepting which, for the most part, I knew he would be, was still relieving. But the sheer fact that people had no awareness about the terms 'pansexual' and 'demisexual' was harder than the process of coming out. And like most of the pansexuals out there, I did get the exasperating question of whether I liked pans.

Coming out to my parents was quite arduous as it was exhausting to get them to understand the concept of it. At first, mom was in denial but she slowly came around. Dad didn't seem to understand it and just ignored the sheer fact of it. It took a lot of attempts to get at least a question of acknowledgement - "Why are you like that?" - from my dad. And that wasn't the last time I got asked that question. But over time, dad seems to have accepted it, though, both of them still prefers my future partner to be of the opposite sex abiding to the societal norms of heteronormativity.

Then, I tried using dating apps to interact with people from the queer community since I didn't know whatelse to turn to. This was quite an eye-opening experience. I asked an individual who identified as lesbian, "Did you come out yet". She replied, "I haven't yet but I'll once I get a job". I asked, "Why do you have to wait until then?" and she replied, "I might be kicked out of my house. So, I need some sort of guarantee". That's when I understood where I might have been if my parents weren't as open-minded as they were. This interaction gave the image of 'coming out' being a gamble. 

Once she heard that my situation wasn't as bad, she said, "It's probably because you can get it on with the opposite sex too". This made me feel quite weird as it felt like just because I can go for all genders and some of my options may abide to the societal notions of heteronormativity, I belong neither to the queer community nor the heterosexual majority. It was as if my sexuality was something wrong, an anomaly. 

Even then, I wanted to proudly express who I am and what I am to the world. So, staying in the closet was never an option for me. So, I began coming out to my other friends, teachers and acquaintances. And once again, the hardest part was explaining what each term meant over and over again. Me being assumed as lesbian and being asked questions like "are you more into girls?", "can you even marry someone?" were such tedious misunderstandings to clear up that I wanted to give up a lot of times. Explaining it all over and over again was not just cumbersome, it felt like being ripped naked each time. 

Even then, I persevered through it until I stumbled upon that dreadful question once again, "Why are you like that?". Though it was just an innocent doubt my friend had, it felt like a thorn being nailed into me. It made me feel wrong, like an unrepairable mishap that happened during the manufacturing process, as if the only solution was to dispose it off.

Though I slowly gained courage to get back up again, I was again faced with questions like "why are you not hiding it if you aren't normal because if I were, I would have hid it for sure". This made me question why being different was a source of shame when I had done nothing wrong. Gradually, I started to only come out to people who belonged to the LGBTQI+ community themselves or people who worked for related purposes.

I took the freshly ironed suit from my wardrobe and propped it on. ‘I look good,’ I said to myself.

The interview lasted for about an hour. 

“Yes, sir,” I replied. 

“You have done pretty well and I think you are quite qualified for the job,” the interviewer said.

“Thank you”

“You will soon be informed of further particulars.”

I walked out of the building with confidence in my stride. 

Little did he know that he just interviewed the youngest board member in the company’s history…

“REVOLUTION IN THE CORPORATE SECTOR

'Being at home during the lockdown, I got involved in a lot of online pride events. That was when I finally felt liberated, as if I didn't have to hide anything, as if I finally belonged somewhere, somewhere I need not be ashamed of being myself. I felt like I wasn't a mistake and that I didn't need to apologize so much, in my heart, to my parents for being born. Being recognised for who I am felt like my life, a black and white picture by then, was finally being filled with vibrant colours. This gave me the courage to keep going forward,' said the youngest….."

The deafening noise of the train couldn’t disrupt the flow of her eyes from the newspaper. Sarah felt more confident in herself.

At My Mercy

Credit: LIGHTFIELD STUDIOS

Waiting on your knees for me

Overjoyed at each of my orders

Your eyes reflect me, happy all the same

Looking so proud to be mine

Even though you’re spread like an ‘X’

Under my fingers,

While my hands fall over you with soft thuds

And you moan in pain,

Arousing the sadist in me.

You, trying to answer me

When you barely can,

Tired and panting

But still waiting for my orders,

Are at my mercy.

 

Like a parterre pruned to my tastes

The ropes hug you as I blindfold you

Not seeing anything,

You beg for me.

That I’m the only one you would beg for

That my taste is the only one to linger on your lips

Is my ultimate satiation.

Don’t forget, “You’re at my mercy.”

 

As I search deep into you,

Decorated by my red and black tactics,

You tighten around me as if you’re afraid

But let go of all your inhibitions

Once you see the hunger in my eyes,

You slowly open up for me.

 

Even as I take you to the edge

And leave you hanging,

You trying to satisfy me is so lovely

That I tantalize you relentlessly.

Those lips that tremble and

That face that looks like it’s asking for “more,”

Each time my whips fall on you

Is my ultimate satiation,

That you are mine,

The you, at my mercy.

 

You accepting it all,

Be it a punishment or a reward,

Is so pretty that you’re the only one I want

To know so deeply.

To test your limits.

You covered in my traces is so beautiful

That only you can satisfy me,

The you, at my mercy.

 

Like a parterre pruned to my tastes

The ropes hug you and cuffs click on you

As I blindfold you.

Not seeing or knowing anything,

The air gets so heavy and silent

With anticipation that

Your breathing and the whizzing of the whip

 Are the only sounds to be heard

That I’m the only one to do this to you

That my taste is the only one to linger on your lips

Is my ultimate satiation.

Don’t forget, “You’re at my mercy.”

Korean Version

나만을 위해 무릎 꿇고 기대하고 있는 너

내 모든 말에 따라 즐거워하며

날 바라보는 너의 눈에 빛이는

내 모습이 그리 즐거워 보여

내 것이라는 거에 뿌듯해 보이는 네가

내 손길 아래 ‘X’ 처럼 펴 있으며

Each time my hands fall over you with soft thuds

내가 주는 아픔에 음악 처럼 들리는

너의 신음 소리가

내 안에 사디스트를 각성해

헐떡 거리면서도 내가 묻는

 문제 하나 하나에 대답하고

힘들면서도 내 명령을 기다리는 너는

격국, at my mercy.

 

내 취향에 따라 예쁘게 꾸며지던 화단 처럼

밧줄에 감싸안으며 Blindfolded

And 아무것도 안보이는 너

날 위해 빌게 되.

널 그리 만들고 있는 사람이 나만인걸

네 입술에 내 맛만 난다는걸

역시 너는 my ultimate satiation.

잊지마, “You’re at my mercy.”

 

내 빨간 과 검은 전술에 꾸며진

널 더 깊숙히 알아갈 때마다

무언가를 두려워 하는 것처럼 조이는 너를

갈망하는 내 눈을 보며 모든 억제를 내려놔

나만을 위해 슬슬 열어 놔

 

그런 너를 가장자리 까지 대려가고

I leave you hanging

그래도 날 만족하게 하는 넌

 얼마나 사랑스러운지

가차없이 널 괴롭혀

내 채찍이 떨어질 때마다 떨리는

그 입술 과 홀가분해지는 그 얼굴이

‘더’ 라는 한글자를 빛일 때마다

역시 너는 내 것인걸

역시 너는 my ultimate satiation

The you, at my mercy.

 

벌을 줘도 상을 줘도 다 받아주는

네가 얼마나 예쁜지

너만을 더 깊이 알고 싶다

너의 한계를 찾고 싶다.

내 흔적들로 가득찬 네가 얼마나 아름다운지

이제 너여야만 만족하게 되,

The you, at my mercy.

 

내 취향에 따라 예쁘게 꾸며지던 화단 처럼

밧줄에 감싸안고 수갑이 널 가둬둔 채로 Blindfolded,

아무것도 안보이고 아무것도 모르는 Anticipation,

Makes the air heavy and silent

너의 숨소리 랑 채찍이 스치는 소리 만 들려

널 그리 만들수 있는 사람이 나뿐 인걸

네 입술에 내 맛 만 난다는걸

역시 너는 my ultimate satiation.

잊지마, “You’re at my mercy.”

At Your Mercy

Like a pruned parterre, 

I heave to meet your ethereal touches

I become insatiable without you

Even though you aren't beside me,

Your taste still lingers

The memory of you etched in me 

Makes me sensitive and tender,

Awakening the beast in me.

Though you know it's delicate,

You pull on me and

My moans become music to your ears

And I become an instrument at your touch. 

You watch my spine arching

At your whip caressing my back

With each of your lashes, 

I throb and beg for you. 

You blindfold me, 

At the anticipation of not seeing anything

And not knowing what is to happen,

I search for you

But cuffs click on me 

Spreading me like an 'X'

With no solace as to cover my shame

Unable to do anything, I whisper

"I'm at your mercy."

Kiss my fluttering lips,

Exploring and nibbling at my soft palate

Like a sweet tooth searching for its sugar

You search for me deeper and deeper

Coating me in your love

And leave me trembling.

You pull me to you,

Kneeling before you as if a sinner to receive punishment, 

Navigating through me and analyzing me relentlessly

Your hands move up and down

With soft thuds resonating through me.

Your wavering hands take me to the edge

And leave me hanging

Making me want you more. 

My trembling ears at your loving fondling

And neck gasping for air

Perk up at your red and black tactics

You grab at my waist and

Surround me as I go weak at my knees

And reach deep in me

To leave your traces

As if to let the world know that I'm yours.

With each of your lashes, 

I throb and beg for you. 

You blindfold me, 

At the anticipation of not seeing anything

And not knowing what is to happen,

I search for you

But cuffs click on me

Spreading me like an 'X'

With no solace as to cover my shame

Unable to do anything, I whisper

"I'm at your mercy."

Korean Version

화단을 예쁘게 꾸미듯이 너의 손끝으로

깃털 같은 감각에 내 몸이 올려

너여야만 만족하게 해

내 옆에 없는데도 Your taste still lingers

너의 접촉이 느껴져

내 안에 짐승이 각성 되

날 미묘하게해

고운 줄 알면서도 나를 잡아 당겨

내 신음 소리 너의 귀에 음악이 되

내 몸이 너의 손끝에 악기가 되

슬슬 등으로 흐르는 채찍에

척추가 아치형이 되는걸 내려보는

너의 작은 때림 하나 하나에 진동해

너를 위해 빌게 되

You blindfold me

아무것도 안보이고

아무것도 모르는 Anticipation 

I search for you 

But 수갑이 날 가둬둔채로

'X' 처럼 펴 있으며

부끄러움을 가릴수도 없이

아무것도 못하게 속삭여줘

"I'm at your mercy."

살랑거리는 내 입을 맞춰줘

날 더 깊이 찾으려고

내 입천장을 탐험하고 깨물며

단걸 좋아하는 달콤한 치야 처럼

너의 사랑으로 담긴 채

You leave me trembling

벌 받을 죄인 처럼 무릎 꿇고 있는

나를 너로 당기면서

갖고 놀것 처럼 가차없이 탐색과 분석하는

Your hands, move up and down

With soft thuds resonating through me

할까 말까 하는 너의

손놀림이 가장자리까지 

대려가지만 You leave me hanging 

널 더 원하게 해

너의 핥에 떨리는 내 귀 과

공기를 위해 헐떡거리는 목

너의 빨간 과 검은 전술에 단단해질수록

다리에 힘이 풀리는 날

허리에 거머쥐고 둘러 싸여

내 깊이 다가가

세상 밖에 내가 니꺼 인걸

알려드릴 것 처럼 

너의 흔적들이 남는다

너의 작은 때림 하나 하나에 진동해

너를 위해 빌게 되

You blindfold me

아무것도 안보이고

아무것도 모르는 Anticipation 

I search for you 

But 수갑이 날 가둬둔채로

'X' 처럼 펴 있으며

부끄러움을 가릴수도 없이

아무것도 못하게 속삭여줘

"I'm at your mercy."

It always shone bright

Abstract

This song talks about a person who has been trying to find his way through darkness towards light for so long. The person is represented by a ray of light wandering in darkness searching for a beam of light. Through his journey he goes through various trials which offer him pain and lessons. One day, when he sees light again, it makes him so glad that he doesn't know that he was so injured by the trials he had gone through. Though he had found light, he was so traumatized that he couldn't believe people or depend on anyone anymore. When he found himself in situations to ones he had faced in darkness, he started hurting again though he himself didn't know why. Only after hurting again and again for a long time, did he know that he was so hurt and some things had changed in him so much that there was no going back. Even after he found light, he still searches for it, for an abode, all when he's shining so bright, brighter than any other. 

The irony in this song is that the heart of the person clearly knows that he's searching for light which is his aim. But the brain doesn't know where the light is and thus he's aimless. 

참 작았던 그 빛

새로 만났던 그 어둠 속에서 

도움 도 받지 못해

어쩔 줄 몰라

안내 해줄 목소리 도 없이

빛을 향해 무심코 방황하는 빛이

흑 피의 흔적을 남기며

아파하는 줄도 모르고 시간이 지나

그 어둠 속에서 빠져 나오려고 길을 찾아

시간이 지나... 어둠 만 남아

갈 길이 없다 생각 했어... 빛을 향해

혼자서 그 길을 걸으면서

어둠 노려 보지 도 않아

외롭기 만 했던 빛이 늘

맹목에서 채찍에 맞아

심장이 흑심이 되 버릴 듯... 빛을 향해

꺼지는 불 처럼

흑눈물로 빛이 색칠해 

쉴 틈도 없이 맹목에서 이러나 봤을때

향했던 빛을 마주해

그때까지 꺼지고 있던 그 불이

가장 반짝 빛이 났어

안보이게 빨간 피로 색칠하며

안내 해줄 목소리 도 없이

빛을 향해 무심코 방황하는 빛이

흑 피의 흔적을 남기며

아파하는 줄도 모르고 시간이 지나

그 빛에게 자신도 안보이던 손상이 있었다

해쳤던 걸 모르고 시간이 또 지나

비가 가끔 내릴때

아픈 그 빛이

"왜 아프지" 라는 문제의 답 없이

무심코 방황해

빛이 까맣듯이

아무도 못 믿고 의지 할 곳 도 없이

무심코 방황해

안내 해줄 목소리 도 없이

빛을 향해 무심코 방황하는 빛이

흑 피의 흔적을 남기며

아파하는 줄도 모르고 시간이 지나

아무리 빛이나 도 안보이는 흉터가 남는다

비 내리는 날에 아픈 흉터. 

Translation 

In the newly met darkness,

A small ray of light

Waiting for help

With no voice to guide it,

It wanders aimlessly towards light

Leaving a trail of black blood

Time passes without it knowing that it's hurt

It searches for a way to get out of the darkness

Time passes and only darkness remains

It thinks that there is no way to get out

As it walks through its path all alone

The darkness doesn't even bother to stare at it

That loneliness, like a whip, flogged it. 

Like an extinguishing fire, 

The light darkens stained by black tears. 

Without even time to rest

When it wakes up from the darkness, 

It sees itself faced by light

Until then the light which looked like it was about to extinguish, 

Shone brighter than any other, 

Stained with invisible but red blood 

It was impaired to a level even it, itself couldn't comprehend

Time passes without it knowing that it is injured. 

When it rains from time to time,

Aching light thinks of why it is aching

With no answer, it wanders aimlessly. 

As if light were dark

It couldn't believe or depend on anyone anymore 

And wandered aimlessly. 

However bright it shone, there was always a wound left. 

A wound that aches when it rains.